These are funny!

I found these on the internet. :)

Some Steven Wright quotes:

“I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, “Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?” I said, “yes.”

“My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It’s in the apartment somewhere.”

“Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.”

“I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. “We’re surrounded.”

“When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.”

“I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.”

“Did you sleep well?” “No, I made a couple of mistakes.”

“My socks do match. They’re the same thickness.”

“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I’m afraid of widths.”

(no subject)

Although we are not allowed petss, Plant hass managed to get permisssion to add a creature called a Ssavage Ssprout to the garden. Plant is fasscinated with thiss terror, and I hope it doessn't have to be fed too often.